The Dark Side of Social Media Recruiting - Jenny Stevens Coaching

The Dark Side of Social Media Recruiting

By Jenny Stevens | Network Marketing Tips

the dark side to social media recruiting and social media prospecting

I’m pretty sure I was pissing a lot of my Facebook friends off.

In fact, I know I was.

People unfriended me.

Said to me in the pub “Jenny you’re posting A LOT about you business”

“I miss seeing stuff about YOU”

But I was doing what I was being taught to do… so I carried on.

I thought I was doing an ok job of not always posting about products but when I look back at my FB memories now…


The truth is…

There is a dark side to social media recruiting & prospecting and unfortunately as more and more network marketers come online to social media to build their business and find new customers and team members…

Many are doing it horribly wrong.

I know I was!

Luckily, I found help and my personal profile got back to being me and I could stop all the copy, paste messages.

Hidden agenda, and started making more money and actually seeing some success at last.

It was a different story in the beginning.

When I began in my network marketing business back in 2014, I started on social media, as that was how we were taught which was great.

I didn’t have to do a lot of the old school, belly-to-belly stuff.

However, from being a complete newbie and not really knowing what I was doing…

I made so many boo boos when it came to prospecting and posting online… as well as some traditional methods too.

Facebook memories has a great way of reminding me now 😉

This post will show you some examples of what things I'm talking about that many are making on social media and hopefully will stop you from making these mistakes too.

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the dark side of social media recruiting is killing the network marketing industry. Lots of network marketers are using facebook for recruiting and prospecting and are stuck in bad habits. Learn if you're making these mistakes of social media prospecting and have some tips on how to do it in a more efficient and effective way
the dark side of social media recruiting is killing the network marketing industry. Lots of network marketers are using facebook for recruiting and prospecting and are stuck in bad habits. Learn if you're making these mistakes of social media prospecting and have some tips on how to do it in a more efficient and effective way
the dark side of social media recruiting is killing the network marketing industry. Lots of network marketers are using facebook for recruiting and prospecting and are stuck in bad habits. Learn if you're making these mistakes of social media prospecting and have some tips on how to do it in a more efficient and effective way

The Dark Side of Social Media Recruiting

Have you ever gone into a supermarket and wanted to find a way to bring up your opportunity to the check out lady?

Yep, I did that.

You know when they are polite and sometimes ask if you’re having a good day?

I saw the opportunity and said, “I’m great thanks. I’ve just started a new business and loving it”

Which got her attention so she asked me about it and I ramble on about the amazing product and gave her a business card and said check out my website and call me for more info!

I didn’t hear back from her!

One of my friends in the industry told me a good one he made…

Have you ever prospected a girl, while on a date as a “test,” because your upline told you that if a girl is not positive about your business, she’s not a keeper? Yep… didn’t turn out well.

Another friend Brandy told me how she drove 15 hours, leaving her 6 kids behind for a NO SHOW!


The stories I’ve heard of the lengths people have gone to for their business is crazy.

The point is, I’m about to cast some heavy stones at some networkers, but I just wanted to let you know that I’ve made mistakes too and so have most people…

But that doesn’t mean we should be going easy on those that are committing some MAJOR prospecting mistakes on Social Media and online and living on the dark side!

For many, these mistakes happened offline and no Facebook memory or Timehop app to remind you every year!

Unfortunately, today…

The Internet Never Forgets and It’s Ruining It for Everyone Else

As I said just now, as more and more companies and people are coming onto social media to use it to build their business…

More and more people are making these same mistakes and the cycle keeps on going.

They are bringing the old school techniques online which doesn’t always work because things are different.

marketers are turned into spambot by their uplines

With social media, there’s a very fine line between prospecting and spamming people.

Sorry to say it, but most network marketers have been turned into copy & paste spam bots by their upline!



Copy & paste the same message so you see it 50 times in one day from 50 different reps!

Distributors being tasked with “just share more” and “talk ot everyone to spread the word” but it’s at the detriment of the individual person’s reputation…

Not even thinking about the true fact that you’re risking getting shut down online.

I’ve seen so many friends in the industry get out in “jail” over too much activity and being stuck at growing their business because they ‘broke the rules’

But more worryingly, they don’t seem to learn or change their ways with how they market their products and just try to “trick the system”

The WRONG WAY to Prospect & Recruit

bad prospecting on social media example

Successful entrepreneurs and networkers alike eventually learn the true secret to success and it becomes the foundation upon which their entire prospecting, recruiting and business building strategy is founded.

That secret being:

“People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care” – Theodore Roosevelt

The screenshots above are weak and lazy prospecting attempts from people who haven’t yet figured this out yet that building a business is not about finding the perfect copy & paste messages you send to strangers.

I’ve tried and failed!

It’s about actually giving a damn about people. Becoming a person of value and being uniquely positioned to help someone solve their problems.

The last one is critical “uniquely positioned to help someone solve their problems”

Anyone can copy & paste a message in Messenger or any other private message app.

Why should people care about YOUR ‘ground floor opportunity’ and amazing make money scheme over the others they receive?

Now this doesn’t mean prospecting on social media doesn’t work, because it does.

I’ve got some amazing friends who are now skilled recruiters and excellent at building relationships and prospecting online, using attraction marketing.

But just like anything, whether online or offline, they’ve spent time and effort learning, practicing and perfecting this skill.

Because that’s what it is.


Many network marketers don’t realise that they can’t just be awesome at things when new, it takes learning the right way and developing a skill.

Think about if you wanted to learn how to play the piano.

You wouldn’t just open up the cover and start playing and expect to be able to play Beethoven’s Fur Elize!

(I play, and man that’s a hard one to play even after years of lessons!)

You need lessons from a professional who will teach you the basics.

The scales. Chords. Finger technique etc.

It takes time and a LOT of practice (believe me) to get good!

And that’s how you should look at business skills too.

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If you’re still a little unclear or fuzzy over whether you’re playing in the dark side of possible spamming or not, here’s a guide to help you out…

Top 5 Warning Signs That Your Prospecting Efforts are Actually SPAM

1) You first private message to a stranger on social media includes a link to join your opportunity.

2) You get angry replies via private messaging and/or you have been reported as a spammer.

3) You post links to your opportunity or website in the comments section of other people’s social media posts

4) You compulsively want to talk about your company or products, without anyone asking you to share.

Finally… this one is the most important one…

5) You engage in interactions online, with a hidden agenda, hoping to transition the topic to something that would get people interested in your opportunity, without caring about knowing the other person.

This last one for me is a big one but could also be controversial.

After all, #5 is the very definition of prospecting (online or offline), which even when done right… can still feel awkward, result in people getting angry at you and very unleveraged, which is why I eventually decided to stop prospecting all together.

But here’s the interesting thing…

“When I Stopped Prospecting People, My Business Started Growing!”

I can’t tell you how great and relieved I felt to be able to finally get back to socialising without a hidden agenda of trying to sell my products or see who may be interested in joining my team.

After having my friends roll their eyes at me when they didn’t think I could see (that hurt!), I realised something had to change and how some perceived me now I’d joined this crazy business.

So it felt great and they loved it too by having Jenny back and seeing ME again on my Facebook profile and not a giant wall of promotions!

Normal again after 2 years of doing what my upline told me and seeing everyone as a prospect or having any conversation with an agenda. I was FREE!

That’s because I changed my focus and learned the right skills to use online and meant when I STOPPED prospecting, I got results and my business started growing!

Weird, hey?

So you might be thinking to yourself, “well how the hell does your business grow?”

Well before I answer that, I have to say that there are people who are very skilled prospectors and recruiters who completely disregard the issues I mentioned above.

They knowingly and without shame, approach every interaction with a stranger as a prospecting opportunity.

Slowly, leaders are coming around to the new idea of another option but still many are dead against it and don’t see how it can work!

I had quite a discussion with one person about social media recently and he was definitely stuck in the dark ages and could NOT see any other way that belly to belly!

He even went on to say it was “dangerous” and we should be careful.

My response was, focus on your own business than worry about mine.

But that story can wait for another day 😉

I guess some people don’t care how soul destroying and down you can feel when you get ignored, shouted at or eye rolled just to get a Yes!

Just like offline though...

There’s a right way and a successful way to do it online as well.

Which is what many aren’t being taught.

The problem with prospecting in general, as it’s normally taught, is that the mind-set going in, is still about what YOU want people to do and about manipulating people into doing what you want them to do.

In other words, it’s about YOU, not them. I didn’t like that, and it took me a while to change those bad habits when I found a better way…

The More Leveraged Alternative to 1-on-1 Prospecting, Which Won’t Make You Feel Like a Sleazy Sales Man

Now I’m not trying to be all Billy big bollocks and high & mighty about this prospecting stuff.

Far from it.

If push came to shove and I was in a serious hole and had to feed myself and my husband and cats with “cold prospecting” tactics, then I’d do it.

But the reason so many make these mistakes and have this attitude, sometimes comes down to desperation and need for money and results that it hinders their sight or what’s really going on.

Commission breath stinks!

And the reason I was able to quit prospecting was because, with the help of some extraordinary mentors, I eventually discovered an online recruiting strategy, which…

Enabled me to have people lining up to talk to me about my business in a day, than I’d had in an entire year!

And a way that made me able to make more money in sales and get more new customers in 1 month than I had in 2 years in my Network Marketing journey... and all passively, meaning while I slept or while I was still working my job, having fun with my husband and friends…

Things kept coming and growing.

(Hence why I didn’t have to worry about prospecting them again!)

Rather than spending hours on my phone having constant messages, constantly posting on my personal profile a latest copy & paste post form someone else, or a new product graphic I’d made.

I learned how to legitimately get Facebook and other networks to actually help me attract the people who are most interested in what I have to offer, using their ads platform! (i.e. going legit!)

In fact, for the last 2.5-3 years, I’ve woken up to an email inbox with new notifications for new leads, new customers and team members while I slept – which feels amazing!

This strategy is called ‘attraction marketing’, which is an Internet marketing strategy designed for networkers and people in direct sales!

You see, if your business depends on you being on social media, sending private messages or commenting on people’s posts all day, you are NOT doing internet marketing… despite what you may have been led to believe.

Online prospecting and Internet marketing is NOT the same thing!

Internet marketing is a passive strategy, which works, even when you are not.

If you want to learn how it works, I actually reveal the entire strategy I’ve used for the past 3 years, in a free 10-Day Online Recruiting Boot camp available here.

You’ll also get more details about a book I bought written by one of my mentors, which is goes into the nuts n’ bolts of his recruiting & selling formula.

Now if traditional prospecting online or offline is your thing and you want to stick to that, by all means, go for it.

There’s some people like Eric Worre, Ray Higdon, Cesar Ridriguez and Tim Sales are all about that stuff.

(And they do ‘attraction marketing’ too!)

For me, there was simply a certain way I wanted to live my life and that was more important.

I would much rather make a ton of money in my business first and then have my friends and family beg me to tell them more about it.

It’s much better than begging my friends and family to join a business which isn’t making any money.

Which would you prefer? Exactly!

To your success

Jenny Stevens


Finally, An Easy Way To Recruit Into Your Network Marketing Business – Rejection FREE – Without Wasting Your Time & Money Chasing Dead Beat Prospects & Leads...

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About the Author

Jenny Stevens is an Online Marketing Coach & Trainer who specialises in helping female business owners learn how to attract their perfect customers and clients using modern online marketing methods, which enable you to work from where you want, when you want with a business and life you love!